Sunday, June 23, 2013

I Can Barely Take Care of Myself.

 
  I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From A Happy Life Without Kids
Jen Kirkman
210 Pages
3,121 pages
Book # 12

This book should really just be called I Don't Want Kids and I'm Going to Use 210 Pages Explaining That Exact Statement. I get it, Jen Kirkman, you don't want kids. It only takes a page to let us know that. She literally spends the entire book saying that. Every page is a different story about why she doesn't want kids. People always ask her why she doesn't have kids, and she has to explain herself 12 different ways. How did she get a book deal? I mean, I realize that memoirs like this need to have some sort of "theme", but come on. I wanted to stop, but I kept going for you guys. 
This book wasn't funny at all. There was one sentence that I felt I could relate to: "Being overweight made me feel sad. When I'm sad I eat, then I feel fat and that makes me sad, so I eat more. It's a vicious (but fun) cycle".  Jen Kirkman got married to a guy who also didn't want kids (she had to mention that about 30 times) and she got really fat her first year of marriage. Of course she's skinny now. They *spoiler alert* get divorced after only a year of marriage. 
I'm sure that Jen had a lot of other funny stories about her life, but the publishers only let her write chapters pertaining to her avid desire to not have children. Her mom was kind of funny, I think they should've tapped into that resource a little more. Maybe I just don't relate to it because no one is asking me why I don't have kids. I'm sure they look at me and are like "oh you're fat and you seem like a loser, I won't bother asking you why there isn't a baby on your hip and a gold band on your finger". Or maybe I'm not old enough. I'm 25 so maybe it's still acceptable that I am child and husband-less. The more correct assumption for why I don't get harassed with this question is probably because the only adults I interact with know me well enough to know that I won't ever have a family. 
Anyway, it took me a rather long time to read this book (and then an even longer time to blog about it) because it was so bad. I maybe chuckled twice.  No one on the After Lately show is funny, so I don't know why I read all of their memoirs.

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