Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Once Upon a Secret

Once Upon a Secret
Mimi Alford

I had such high hopes for this book. I waited months for the library to have a free copy (okay I kept forgetting to request it, but you get the idea) and when I finally got it, I was so super excited. And then...I was in pain finishing it. 
I was hoping it was going to be like 50 Shades of Grey except better written and not so stupid. I was wrong. It was basically this (sorry for the spoilers, but we all know he gets shot):
"I was a tall, skinny rich girl. I, by some miracle, got an internship at the White House during the Kennedy Administration. JFK asked me to swim in a pool...weird, but why not? He has a small party in his living room. He asks if I want a tour. I say yes assuming that this is normal, like I get asked for tours of presidents' bedrooms on the daily.  He pushes me on the bed and has sex with me. Normal.  No, not rape cause he asked if "this is okay?". His wife and kids were somewhere galavanting across the country and we just lay in bed and he shows me how he likes his eggs. We take a bath every so often. He's so funny and sweet. Oh, he has a wife? What? Oh well. I'm 19 and the President loves me. I meet a man of my own and go back to college. The FUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA calls me up on the dorm phone and we flirt. I get engaged to this new guy, John gets jealous and our affair is over because it's okay that he's married, but me...nope. JFK gets shot. I tell my fiance about my secret and he gets pissed. Blah blah blah the rest of my boring life."

I mean, it was like my Grandma was telling the story to a nun or something. There was no character development. And, I hate to say this, but I could care less about you and your life. Please let's just talk about Mr. Kennedy for a second. Not 200 or so pages about you being a naive college girl who is sleeping with the most powerful man in the world. Let's just not.

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