Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Demian

Demian
Herman Hesse

I'm not sure if this post is going to be more about the book or more about my feelings towards what I think the book is about. But you know I never really have any idea. To get my feelings about the book over with, though, I really liked it. It was one of those books you had to pay attention to the whole time or you'd miss something. I feel as though it was an extremely complicated book, yet at the same time it was so simple. The message that I picked up from the book was (well this is one of the messages, I don't think that it is the overall theme or anything, but what spoke to me):
You don't wait for change to happen, you seek it out when you're ready. Only when you're ready will you be able to positively change and grow in strength and wisdom.
Does that make sense? I'm not sure mostly because I don't have that rare gift of making people understand what I'm saying and also because I'm not sure if that's right. But if I didn't already return the book to the library or I had a photographic memory, I would tell you the quote that spoke to me. I just think that Emil Sinclair knew that he was ready to change is reckless ways and become a higher person. That's why this book came at a good time in my life because I think that I've been sitting around for 22 years waiting for something to happen and it never did. Now I'm not one of those 8 year old romantic little girls thinking that my prince will come and life will be peachy thereafter. I'm simply saying that something needs to change, whether what's changing is my faith, my moral outlook, my job, my career path, my desire to help people, my weight, the way I dress, how I feel about myself, how others see me, anything that could be possible.
I'm not even 100% sure if I am, in fact, ready for this change that Sinclair sought out, but I'm trying some new things at the moment and I'm ready to see how they work out. I'm putting myself in some new situations and I'm trying to not complain about them, but learn about them and hopefully grow into a more enlightened person. I'm also hoping along the way I will meet someone like Demian who will be like my spirit guide who could help me discover something, anything. I guess we'll have to see where I end up. At least we know what happened to Sinclair, he's lucky in that sense.

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